It is often said that the heart of man lies hidden. What we know of people is what they allow us to know. Is it too much to imagine that what we hold so tightly within us is hidden even to God?
We are human. We accept our faults and believe that this is what is required in our society. We are afraid of letting others know our fears, our doubts, and our worries. These are private and must be protected.
What if....
What if there was no need to hide these fears and angers. What if the very act of hiding them hurts us more than the public pain of showing them to our friends. What if the act of holding our emotions in check is what causes more pain and hurts us even more.
Those who have done a pilgrimage tell me that weeks into the journey they have cried in public and told strangers of their fears. Life itself becomes more bearable and joy can be found in simply living because everything else is nonexistent. That God touches them, when they need it the most.
Perhaps I hold too much faith in what will happen on my camino. Perhaps it will be a very long walk and a good break from TV and Internet, and everything else that I have valued. But maybe, just maybe, I will find what I have been looking for since the first gulf war. Perhaps I will find peace. Perhaps I will find God. Or better said, perhaps I will let God find me.
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